Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Effort 23 – The Constant Noise of the Loo


For 30 days, I will share the joys, pains, and dirty little secrets of my life with multiple sclerosis. My goal is to find a reason to convince you to support/share my fight against MS. Please donate today: http://main.nationalmssociety.org/goto/eleanor.

This is Effort Number 23…

This is a very easy blog post to write. My debate, however, started immediately. I attempted to address well-formed arguments by my Inside Voice.

[Do you really want to write this, Kevin?]
That was one.
[What are you going to call it?]
That was the other.
[Well, what did you come up with?]
This…

Do I really want to write this?
Not particularly. Certain topics turn people off right away. It’s unfair to the purpose of my blog series, however, if I’m going to completely ignore something referred to as a Constant Noise. The unfiltered me may have unintended and unwanted consequences on my “social life” tomorrow, but it’s a risk I’ll have to take.

The filtered me isn’t much better, hence the “  ” addition.

What am I going to call it?
I settled on The Constant Noise of the Loo, figuring I might have a problem sharing The Constant Noise of Piss and Shit on social media. I think this sounds more dignified, kind of, sort of.

On that note, another dirty little secret:
My body is almost always having some issues related to going to the bathroom. If on that rare occasion, I don’t physically have an issue, I am surely thinking/worrying about it.

Can’t stop going = Incontinence. Did you know there are seven types of incontinence?
1.      Stress incontinence. Not related to but rather pressure due to weight, pregnancy, sneezing, lifting, exercise, and some medical conditions.
2.      Overflow incontinence. This usually involves difficulties emptying the urinary bladder.
3.      Urge incontinence or overactive bladder. This usually involves injury to nerves or muscles, caused by injury or disease.
4.      Functional incontinence. Urine leaking caused by age, physical disability, or mental capacity.
5.      Mixed incontinence. As it states, accommodation of the above.
6.      Total incontinence. As it states….
7.      Bedwetting. This refers specifically to incontinence in children as a result of an immature bladder.
I am a 2, 3, and 4. That makes me a 5. There is always the danger of one day I will be a 6.

[Well, you’re a 10 in my book, Kevin!]
Not relevant or appropriate in this case, but thank you.

Can’t go = Urinary Retention/Obstructed Defecation.
Let’s just assume we all know what these mean. You want to go, but you can’t — I’ll just leave it at that…

And, just to give everyone another wonderful visual, I’ll throw in an additional issue. Rectal tenesmus – this is that feeling of being unable to completely empty your bowels, even when there is nothing left to expel.

I will leave the details of how these affect me every day to your imagination. Suffice it to say, most of the worst things you can probably imagine are accurate.

Yes, there are medications I can take.
Yes, they do work sometimes.
Yes, I do take medications sometimes.
No, they do not work all the time/in all situations.
No, I do not like taking additional medications. I much rather prefer to adjust my lifestyle and live with the consequences.

This is a constant noise. Everything I do is gauged upon when did I last go to the bathroom, when did I last drink, what did I drink, when I last ate, what did I eat, where am I going and what is there. I highlighted that sentence because it is the exact stream of consciousness going through my head at any given point in time. On bad days, I don’t want to leave the house or be social in any aspect. On good days, I am immensely grateful – realizing the preparations I made beforehand and considerations throughout were critical in my “success.”

Yesterday was a good day, and I am immensely grateful.

So, if you see me out and I look uncomfortable…
[You always look uncomfortable when you’re out.]
Good point. So, when you see me out and I look uncomfortable, try to imagine all the constant noise is going through my head at once. I guarantee this is at the forefront.

I hope the stories will inspire your donation to my fight.

Because it is a fight.
The fight is not over and it won’t be over until a cure is found.
It will never stop…nor will we
It will never quit…nor will we
This is why we ride!

100% of the royalties earned from my books go to the National MS Society, to support our fight: http://neverstopneverquit.com/books

Never Stop… Never Quit…®
Kevin Byrne
Portland, OR

Never Stop… Never Quit… Reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off.


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