Friday, March 5, 2021

Reconstructing and Defining Kevin - Part One: Everything is Crumbling Apart


Part One: Everything is Crumbling Apart


My declaration is not hyperbole. After spending several years coming to grips with a need for change, merely seeking “a change” proved to be the absolute worst objective.

On April 19, 2020 (Act IV, Scene I), I declared, “I don’t want to live like this.” I began searching for ways to shift my priorities towards ways that reflected my values’ truer focus.

On September 17, 2020 (Setting Everything Else Aside), I deliberately turned inward to search for the clarity I needed. I was approaching the one-year mark of a self-imposed life assessment. My time was well spent.

As I began to tell my tale of redemption uncovered, a complex story unfolded. There was only one problem: it was all bullshit. “The” answer did not exist. Spoiler alert: “The” answer does not exist. Comfort with my presence was all I could describe.

Reconstructing and Defining Kevin was going to be my next literary effort. Quite some time had been spent piecing the story together. A mountain of previously published and unpublished work surprisingly and conveniently set up new writing. After countless pages, revisions, and rewrites, I was almost ready for formal steps:

  • share my work with a few friends and colleagues.
  • solicit their feedback and combine it with my constant revisions.
  • draft — edit — revise — edit — finalize — proofread — revise — publish.

Sure, it was only step #6 of 4000, but those six steps were the heart and soul of my victories.

Then it all fell apart.

I still want to tell my story. Sharing this journey has the potential to provide therapeutic insight for me as well as others who often see subtle echoes of their lives in my words.

My effort will simply be a soft restart. Armed with 1000+ pages of drafts, notes, and references, today I start the tale of a man who:

  • has
  • lost
  • searches for
  • discovers
  • loves
  • despises
  • created
  • destroys
  • wants
  • needs

With some time, I will finally discover the proper objects of these emotions or finally put them all to rest forever.

Where is this headed? I’m kind of curious myself.

Maybe Reconstructing and Defining Kevin will become worthy of publication someday; this, of course, depends upon my ability to articulate the discoveries that present themselves. There is the chance I will simply contribute to another barrage of incessant ramblings. Time will tell — today I realized the time to articulate and/or ramble is the one commodity I will have more than enough of my hands.

We are nowhere near ready for today. Let’s start at the beginning…


The developing draft of my story will be shared on this secure drive location:

These are the thoughts going through my mind as I try to piece it all together…

This is not about what my life will be like when the fight is over.

I will never stop

I will never quit

This is my story

100% of the royalties earned from my books go to the National MS Society, to support our fight:

Never Stop… Never Quit…®

Kevin Byrne

Portland, OR


Never Stop… Never Quit… Reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off.


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