Part Three: Dismantling Faulty Architecture
For 12 months, Kevin deconstructed his life choices. This book is his story.
On October 6, 2019, one could describe his motivation as a need to fix that nagging feeling of “something is broken in my life.” His disjointed rationale for beginning such an endeavor is something I continue to struggle with clarifying — his nomadic wondering, searching to satisfy a need for long-term change through short-term objectives. Achievements alone, however, did not lead to resolution. Without closure, there was no sense of accomplishment.
He earned no satisfaction deserved for his efforts. Of all the questions faced throughout the next year, it took until September 12, 2020, to realize one which never crossed Kevin’s mind.
This is the before, during, and after story of his discoveries.
I have no training to understand clinical patterns of behavior. I am not especially well-read, nor can I quote the countless medical, psychological, and theological intellectuals who have addressed similar struggles. Perhaps someone smarter than myself will be able to categorize the journey in some classic manner.
Throughout the year, I kept a record of his routines, changes, and choices. I observed his struggles and challenges. We spoke almost every day. Usually, Kevin was prepared to offer a mountain of reasons — ample justifications often rationalized efforts undertaken. At times, there were halfhearted attempts to skew the perception of reality. Kevin knew they were not true. I knew they were not true. They were pitiful attempts to mask painful shortcomings he was trying to correct but lacked acute awareness, resources, time, or motivation. It was easy to rein him in if I broke character for just a moment.
[You’re not being truthful.]
The result is his story. He spoke/wrote/lived. I listened/read/observed. Fortunately, the labor did not break our friendship.
Neither of us knows what to do with the information collected.
We just like telling stories.
The developing draft of my story will be shared on this secure drive location: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1E4cNpkFBU4qf3zYDIqZ5Nw72DzhGe88r?usp=sharing
These are the thoughts going through my mind as I try to piece it all together…
This is not about what my life will be like when the fight is over.
I will never stop
I will never quit
This is my story
100% of the royalties earned from my books go to the National MS Society, to support our fight: http://neverstopneverquit.com/books
Never Stop… Never Quit…®
Never Stop… Never Quit… Reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off.