Part Three:
Dismantling Faulty Architecture
For
12 months, Kevin deconstructed his life choices. This book is his story.
On
October 6, 2019, one could describe his motivation as a need to fix that
nagging feeling of “something is broken in my life.” His disjointed rationale
for beginning such an endeavor is something I continue to struggle with
clarifying — his nomadic wondering, searching to satisfy a need for long-term change
through short-term objectives. Achievements alone, however, did not lead to
resolution. Without closure, there was no sense of accomplishment.
He
earned no satisfaction deserved for his efforts. Of all the questions faced
throughout the next year, it took until September 12, 2020, to realize one
which never crossed Kevin’s mind.
Why?
This
is the before, during, and after story of his discoveries.
I
have no training to understand clinical patterns of behavior. I am not
especially well-read, nor can I quote the countless medical, psychological, and
theological intellectuals who have addressed similar struggles. Perhaps someone
smarter than myself will be able to categorize the journey in some classic manner.
Throughout
the year, I kept a record of his routines, changes, and choices. I observed his
struggles and challenges. We spoke almost every day. Usually, Kevin was
prepared to offer a mountain of reasons — ample justifications often
rationalized efforts undertaken. At times, there were halfhearted attempts to
skew the perception of reality. Kevin knew they were not true. I knew they were
not true. They were pitiful attempts to mask painful shortcomings he was trying
to correct but lacked acute awareness, resources, time, or motivation. It was easy
to rein him in if I broke character for just a moment.
[You’re
not being truthful.]
[Why?]
[Why
not?]
The
result is his story. He spoke/wrote/lived. I listened/read/observed.
Fortunately, the labor did not break our friendship.
Neither
of us knows what to do with the information collected.
We
just like telling stories.
***
The
developing draft of my story will be shared on this secure drive location: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1E4cNpkFBU4qf3zYDIqZ5Nw72DzhGe88r?usp=sharing
These are the
thoughts going through my mind as I try to piece it all together…
This is not about what my life will be like when the
fight is over.
I will never stop
I will never quit
This is my story
https://mssociety.donordrive.com/participant/Eleanor
100%
of the royalties earned from my books go to the National MS Society, to support
our fight: http://neverstopneverquit.com/books
Never Stop… Never Quit…®
Kevin
Byrne
Portland,
OR
www.neverstopneverquit.blogspot.com
Never Stop…
Never Quit…
Reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off.
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