(Originally published in The Ramblings of a Condemned Man, NEVER STOP NEVER QUIT, 2018)
Why do you want to know who I am?
You have always yearned to define existence. It is your nature. Ever since
an animal first ripened into the beast you now call humankind, the need to
identify and classify has made you unique among all life.
My simpler creatures limit thought to “How?”
“How do I satisfy my hunger?”
“How do I keep myself safe when alarmed?”
“How do I rest when my frame grows weary?”
“How do I satisfy my urges when desire peaks?”
Adam also challenged, “Why?” as did all who came after him. He developed
the rhetoric to question his own being and that of the world he claimed to
I am the answer to all your mysteries, the source of all information you
desire. You search for my truth, but do not know why.
I understand the way all existence began for I am the essence that made it
Long before you came to be, my will created the universe’s infinite
Within this space, I created galaxies and filled them with stars, each
forming its own system. I gave you your Sun, your Earth, your land, your
home, even the chair you now sit in while pondering questions of a higher
calling. You gave everything a name, claimed ownership to all you could
touch, then sought to reserve all you should see. You search for more,
solely to claim.
There is much beyond that which your vision and instruments observe. In
time, you will discover more than you can possibly fathom now. You will
understand more about existence and the life forever beyond your
You will never approach my essence.
I don’t restrain your illusions of entitlement, nor do I encourage them.
They merely exist. I know how your perceptions will develop, for I know
exactly what your future holds, for I alone have complete control over your
progression, for I created everything. As a race, you each have free
will—something I ensure your perception of. You have broken beyond the
constraints of animal instinct; your decisions come from a more complex
assemblage of inspirations.
You define beauty. You evaluate potential. You search for moral
Both your greatest triumphs and most horrid atrocities come from your
ability to infer, imagine, hope, and fear.
This sets you apart from all other forms of life. Thus far, you are my
There are many titles you have given my essence in your attempt to place
human confines over the tiny sliver of that which you think is
I took many forms in your ancient cultures, each defining scopes of a
physical world. Your Hebrews centered me as one deity, Yahweh. I am Allah. I
am God. I am described through an abundance of titles, countless in number,
equal to all but one—Essence.
Your religions have pitted their Creationism against your science’s
In literature, I am the paranormal, the phenomenon. I am your
Everything that is extends from my bestowal: your idolized history; your
contemptible past; the lives you cherish, dread, and deplore today; the
future you fear will never come. I know the results of your submissions and
the accomplishments of your strides. I know because I have seen them, I have
scripted their piece. Everything resides in sequence, throughout so many
ages past and eons yet to come, all playing out in one concurrent instance,
just as it has since I first created time. There is nothing you can do to
change the present, for the future has already executed and the past will
unfold as foretold. Time would not exist without your contribution, for each
moment of time exists solely for you.
War and famine, disease and adversity—these are not trials of your resolve
or your faith. They are merely elements in my timeline. The day will come
when you find an end to all conditions you call suffering. You will
discover. You will create effects far worse than what your mind could
possibly fathom today.
I take great pleasure in all you have accomplished. What you see as pain
and misfortune do not bring me sorrow, for these instances are merely
unfolding as I have created them.
I need to share my account, so I have composed this time for you.
I don’t know why.
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