Emissivity

R — A – T — E

REFLECTANCE — ABSORBANCE — TRANSMITTANCE — EMISSIVITY
The emissivity of my MS — Chapter 01

Emissivity is the measurable release of energy (thermal radiation) from a body. In my Army Aviation days, I learned this as the fourth factor of thermal imaging in the Pilot Night Vision System. The thermal imaging system of the Apache passively translates heat—either reflected off, transmitted through, or emitted by a target.

What does this have to do with me? Simply put, I’m the target and multiple sclerosis is my heat source. What my friends and family have seen for the last 20 years is exactly comparable to the thermal imaging scenario I described.

Reflectance: the damage from my MS is continually reflected off me—my own physical impairment; the limitations placed on me; losses I have experienced physically, professionally, and emotionally. It is sometimes even hard for me to see beyond that reflection.

Absorbance: the amount of shift I have had to absorb because of my MS is unquantifiable. “Suck it up and drive on” is more than dumbed-down Army logic. Even if I wanted to show the world everything my MS does to me, I wouldn’t know how to start, nor what I know if my reflection accurately portrays my plight. I hold back for lack of alternatives. MS has taken so much from me; still, I refuse to let it occupy any more precious time in my life than it already controls. I repress the suffering of my past in favor of promises my future holds. I don’t want the only image of me to be my battle with MS. I hide fear so I can show elation.

Transmittance: my blogs tell me I have become quite proficient in this subset. Through personal examples, I often try to demonstrate the devastating effects multiple sclerosis has on our community of victims. I generalize their effects by showing you my MS. All that I am doing, however, is describing the standard/medical/textbook definitions of MS shown through the backdrop of a target (me).

If thermal imaging ended there, with just those three factors, I might be OK. Heck, it got me this far! There are so many flaws, so many holes, that when I read the beginning of this story, the questions start to outweigh any other thoughts I may have.

Where does the energy come from?What decides the impact energy has on a target and how that target will respond?What happens to absorb energy?When does energy turn from absorption/generation into emission?

A combination of scientists, neurologists, and therapists spend an awful lot of time trying to understand these questions and how they relate to me, the target. Where my personal MS issues come from and what decides if an impact will be reflected or absorbed are often the focus of my ongoing healthcare appointments.

I reflect. I transmit. I absorb.

But for how long?

For almost 20 years, I have absorbed much of the pain, loss, debilitation, and damage exacted by my MS. Time has not softened its efficacy; repression has not dulled their energy. Nor have my dirty little friends been idle, instead raging and burning with intensity. How long can this last? Almost 20 years…

Emissivity is my theme for 2019’s Bike MS. Good or bad…Lighthearted or somber…Positive or filled with rage, my stories this season will highlight the almost 20 years of burden my MS has had on me. I will make this personal. I will show you what MS does to one individual–me.

I will apologize one time, right now, for the topics included in my detonation of energy that has been absorbed and generated within me. I will share openly and honestly the translation of my MS through rage, fear, passion, humility, elation, horror, indifference, sarcasm, and so much more.

My non-sequitur approach won’t hide behind the cover of protection provided by my family in the MS community fighting alongside me. I won’t focus on the statistics and percentages we face as a group. I need to tell you the story of what my MS has done to me and why I will ask for your help in finding a cure because nobody else should have to live like I have for almost 20 years.

Disclaimer: multiple sclerosis differs vastly from patient to patient. No two instances are the same. Symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment are just some of the factors that lead credence to the saying, “Once you've met one MS patient, you've met one MS patient.” My experiences described are unique to me. However, there is an underlying pattern in the fight every one of us faces.

Because it is a fight.

The fight is not over and it won’t be over until a cure is found.

It will never stop…nor will we

It will never quit…nor will we

This is why we ride!

Please donate today: http://main.nationalmssociety.org/goto/eleanor

100% of the royalties earned from my books go to the National MS Society, to support our fight: http://neverstopneverquit.com/books

Never Stop… Never Quit…®

Kevin Byrne

Portland, OR

www.neverstopneverquit.com

www.neverstopneverquit.blogspot.com

Never Stop… Never Quit… Reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off.