Tuesday, May 27, 2025

Save the Date

First published March 1, 2022, revised May 27, 2025.

I will continue to update as the event comes closer.


There is a wave of frustration and anger (and sometimes violence) directed at insurance companies these days, fed up policyholders pushing back against suspect practices. I choose a different response to their methods.

A Party of the Ages!

When: Saturday, February 5, 2033

Place and Time: TBD

 

Dear Standard Insurance Company (all executives and employees),

Please save the date for my event: “Celebration of Tomorrow and Plan for an Exciting Future.”

Why February 2033?

My story begins on February 23, 2022, when one of your Senior Disability Benefits Analysts presented me with an offer regarding my long-term disability claim. He flattered me by taking a moment “to offer an opportunity to settle your claim in exchange for a lump-sum payment.”

It’s every little boy’s dream to be chosen for such an honored opportunity, especially since “The Standard does not routinely settle LTD claims for a number of reasons.” I won’t lie; I was tickled pink.

Unfortunately, after several rounds of misleading calculations and not-so-veiled threats, like “we know that you write books” and “if you do not accept the offer, you will still have to regularly validate your ongoing disability (to prevent fraud),” I still could not understand how you came to the lump-sum dollar amount presented. My math skills are usually on point, making this discrepancy all the more puzzling. I said it was wrong — he said it was right, showing me “the full three pages of the present value calculation you received.”

I thanked him, then showed him again, this time in detail, how his calculations were wrong.

And the Truth Shall Set You Free!

Your determined analyst persevered, taking my question regarding the deductible income adjustment to your actuarial department.

Imagine his surprise when the little scrapper discovered there was another variable not included in “the full three pages of the present value calculation!” Forget trying to imagine my surprise; I was not taken aback.

Apparently, “the present value calculation process incorporates actuarial mortality assumptions.”

So, since your team did so much hard work and determined the correct mortality assumptions for an individual living on disability with multiple sclerosis, I figured I would take the baton and do some more of that math I love so much.

By the calculation of your actuarial department, discounting for the time value of money, my life expectancy maxes out at 93 additional months. I will be dead sometime before the end of January 2033, never seeing the ripe old age of 62.

Let’s Just Pretend

I know your employees are smart, but please humor me for just a moment. What if I am that oddity who exceeds the medical expectations of Standard Insurance Company’s actuarial department?

That would be nice. I definitely want to celebrate such a milestone.

Therefore, please save the date. When the reaper’s stopwatch bottoms out on January 31, 2033, if I’m still here, I would like to celebrate with all my dear family, friends, and advocates at The Standard. Advanced planning like this may not be enough to clear everyone’s schedule on a Tuesday, so let’s push it to that Saturday: February 5, 2033.

There will be food, drinks, music, and lots of enthusiasm. I may even enjoy a piece of cake!

Every penny from my long-term disability after January 31, 2033, will go to a very public celebration of the fact that I am still thriving, not just because of my desire to Never Stop… Never Quit…, but thanks to the avalanche of support so many provide in our fight against the debilitating effects of multiple sclerosis.

In the Meantime

I have lots of party planning to do. Thank goodness it’s not for another 94 months. Formal invitations will follow as we get closer to the event.

In the meantime, here’s some wonderful reading for your actuarial department about the life expectancy of individuals living with multiple sclerosis. The National Institutes of Health, National Institute on Neurological Disorders and Stroke — Wow! Say that five times fast with a mouthful of crackers — published it in 2020, with recent revisions.

“Multiple Sclerosis”

https://www.ninds.nih.gov/health-information/disorders/multiple-sclerosis

What is Multiple Sclerosis?

Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a chronic neurological disorder. It is an autoimmune disorder, meaning that in MS the immune system—which normally protects us from viruses, bacteria, and other threats—mistakenly attacks healthy cells. MS symptoms usually begin in young adults, between the ages of 20 and 40. 

MS affects people differently. A small number of people with MS will have mild symptoms with little disability, whereas others will experience worsening symptoms that will lead to increased disability over time. Most people with MS have short periods of symptoms that resolve fully or partially after they appear. These periods are followed by long stretches without noticeable symptoms. Most people with MS have a normal life expectancy.

Yes, I will milk this for all it is worth, starting with “Save the Date” t-shirts: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FC7ZH4H3



Get yours today!

I endure enough challenges to deal with daily, so please don’t stack the deck against me more.

Please consider this my official decline of your opportunity.

On the off chance I am dead before February 2033, please extend my “Nice Job” to your actuarial department. But that’s not going to happen.

I hope you’ll still come to my party!

Kevin

 

This is not about what my life will be like when my fight is over.

I will never stop…

I will never quit…

I will do this for them.

Never Stop… Never Quit…®

***

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