Saturday, May 22, 2021

Reconstructing and Defining Kevin, Part Ten: Finding, Forming, and Understanding

 

Part Ten: Finding, Forming, and Understanding

 

Kevin’s wellness, or how he feels, is a complex conglomeration of perception and reality. Aware or not, he has authority over many of his physical responses. However, there will always be some he does not control. Kevin may not have the tools with the understanding needed to elicit a positive response. There may be no way for him to apply the necessary treatment. If direct action and a positive mindset alone will not advance Kevin’s wellness, external intervention may become necessary. There are countless reasons why he will need support in each dimension of wellness. A straightforward example from each would be:

  • Physical Dimension – his doctors
  • Intellectual Dimension – his teachers
  • Emotional Dimension – his family
  • Social Dimension – his girlfriend
  • Spiritual Dimension – his priest
  • Vocational Dimension – his fellow nonprofit board members
  • Financial Dimension – his financial advisor
  • Environmental Dimension – his friends who better follow environmentally conscious practices

Kevin uses a decision matrix, of sorts, as a guide to help identify when and how he needs assistance. “I like to think of myself as a disciplined and organized person,” he explains. “Life is more comfortable when I can look at it in a mathematical, yes/no, on/off sense. I have always been wired that way. It’s great to look at yourself as a logical and rational individual, organized to the point where decisions are obvious. Unfortunately, my brain often wonders from the expectation to follow the patterns my mind finds acceptable.

“It is absolutely torturous to struggle with emotional and artistic distress in a life where decisions should be objective and absolute. Is this just the way I was brought up? Perhaps it’s a chemical imbalance of sorts? Maybe a combination of those two, plus more?

“Whatever the formula, I see this as a Byrne-family curse. It killed my father and nearly destroyed me. I will set more significant priorities aside to compulsively follow a pattern/routine, sometimes long after the results have ceased to produce any benefit. I will also take a healthy, constructive lifestyle choice and abandoned it in a moment of rage, boredom, or passion (take your pick). I’m a disciplined and organized person right up until I am not.”

The prices he paid for some of those shortcomings were significant.

“When I sat down to write my explanation of a wellness assessment, I had no idea this realization would be my explanation.”

***

The developing draft of my story will be shared on this secure drive location: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1E4cNpkFBU4qf3zYDIqZ5Nw72DzhGe88r?usp=sharing

 

These are the thoughts going through my mind as I try to piece it all together…

This is not about what my life will be like when the fight is over.

I will never stop

I will never quit

This is my story

 

https://mssociety.donordrive.com/participant/Eleanor

100% of the royalties earned from my books go to the National MS Society, to support our fight: http://neverstopneverquit.com/books

 

Never Stop… Never Quit…®

Kevin Byrne

Portland, OR

www.neverstopneverquit.com

www.neverstopneverquit.blogspot.com

Never Stop… Never Quit… Reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off.

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