Showing posts with label ramblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ramblings. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

My Weapons of Choice


For every share of the original Facebook post or LinkedIn article before September 28, NEVER STOP NEVER QUIT will donate $1 to the bike MS campaign of Eleanor Byrne. Please help me spread the message and support our fight!


In my fight against the devastating effects of multiple sclerosis, my weapons of choice are my words.
My stories serve a dual purpose. Personally, they are my therapy. In a broader sense, I hope to reach out to this audience, enlighten you with my words, and share my message of hope.
It started with me — you can help me fulfill my dream.
“…fantastic stories, where I’m limited only by my imagination, not by the confines of this stupid disease.”
National MS Society Leadership Conference, Denver, CO - November 2016

Published by the NEVER STOP NEVER QUIT charitable foundation, 100% of the royalties earned from the sale of every book will go directly to the fight against multiple sclerosis.
Moments (Book #3 in The Condemned Man Series)
978-1732410671         Paperback
978-1732410688         EPUB
Available on-line with all major retailers - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1732410674
Dominic Bandall is a condemned man. A once powerful attorney in New York City, he and his law partner, his wife Sharon, focused towards their never-ending fight for justice. Now an aged man, his body is battered and bruised from the crippling ailments he has endured in his lifetime— his mind is burdened by the memories of the 9/11 attacks that killed Sharon and so many others he will.
On February 28, 2019, a young law student named Angela Grant met him at his office in Honu‘apo, Hawai‘i, to conduct a series of interviews. What transpired over the next 10 days began with his first confession: “I can see moments in time, Angela.”
Annie Flynn – First Row, Second Desk (Book #2 in The Condemned Man Series)
978-1732410640         Paperback
978-1733968638         EPUB
Available on-line with all major retailers - https://www.amazon.com/dp/173241064X
WARNING: This is a short story. Of the 104 pages, the story itself is only 16 (2844 words). There are many pages with limited text. This is intentional — you must read this incredible story to discover why.
Annie Flynn knew early on where life would take her. “The northeastern region of Syrtis Major Planum. That’s where I’m going to land.”
Experience the magical life of Annie Flynn, from those early years in the first row, second desk to humankind’s first landing on the red planet.
ANNIE FLYNN — SACRIFICE — VALOR — HUMANKIND
...in abeyance (Book #1 in The Condemned Man Series)
978-1732410633         Paperback
978-1733968621         EPUB
Available on-line with all major retailers - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1732410631
Christopher Baxter is a man recognized for his accomplishments: West Point graduate, medical doctor, combat veteran. Chris is also a condemned man-a man who struggles with the familiarity of circumstances he has carried his entire life.
Nothing else changes; no mystical stories or tales of fantasy. What would you do if humanity stopped dying? As the world struggles to come to grips with dormancy, is one man-Chris Baxter-just another unwilling participant, the curse, or their salvation?
The Ramblings of a Condemned Man
978-1732410664         Paperback
978-1733968614         EPUB
Available on-line with all major retailers - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1732410666
Kevin Byrne shares unique insight into the world of a man condemned by both his body and mind. In these stories, on loan from his personal collection, chaos becomes a burden that is no longer his—weighted instead onto the characters he has created.
Included in this book are:
Five short stories
    Chaos: a reflection, confession
    Essence: a perspective on the divine
    I’ll Never Breathe Again: a contemplation of past fears
    Jimmy the Kid: a dark tale of rage (nature)
    His Story, His Way: a dark tale of rage (nurture)
…in abeyance (a novella)
Christopher Baxter is a man recognized for his accomplishments: West Point graduate, medical doctor, combat veteran. Chris is also a man who struggles with the familiarity of circumstances he has carried his entire life.
Nothing else changes; no mystical stories or tales of fantasy. What would you do if humanity stopped dying? As the world struggles to come to grips with dormancy, is one man–Chris Baxter–just another unwilling participant, the curse, or their salvation?
The Completely Inconsequential Ramblings of a Condemned Man
Inspired by a blog series first published in 2017, the never-ending struggle with multiple sclerosis is described through the symptoms they inflict on Kevin and his family, friends, and supporters in this ultimate fight.
My MS and E
978-1732410657         Paperback
978-1733968645         EPUB
Available on-line with all major retailers - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1732410658
There are two versions of this story. When the story was first written, Eleanor refused to read it with me unless there were pictures. The second version is the original picture board used to read this to my daughter at bedtime.
My MS and E is a children’s picture book depicting a typical interaction between Kevin and his daughter, Eleanor. They share an unbreakable father-daughter bond, even in the face of his ongoing struggles with multiple sclerosis.
This story is a heartwarming tale of how they grow, learn, struggle, and celebrate life in their mantra of Never Stop… Never Quit…

HOW TO SUPPORT OUR FIGHT AGAINST MS
Donate to NEVER STOP NEVER QUIT
1.                  Cash
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b.      SELECT ‘Send it to a friend’ and there will be $0 processing fees
Donate directly to the National MS Society
You will get the receipt for all donated amounts (in person or via email). Regardless of how you donate, 100% of your money will go to the National MS Society in support of our fight against multiple sclerosis
Spread the Word
Do you like my books? Do you want to help in our fight?
1.                  Rate and review my stories online: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15670364.Kevin_Byrne
2.                  Recommend my books
a.       Your work, school, personal & professional networks.
b.      Email, Facebook, LinkedIn, word-of-mouth.
c.       Everything helps!
3.                  Share our story and donation information!
Useful Links

Thank you!
Love,Kevin

Because it is a fight.
The fight is not over and it won’t be over until a cure is found.
It will never stop…nor will we
It will never quit…nor will we
This is why we ride!

100% of the royalties earned from my books go to the National MS Society, to support our fight: http://neverstopneverquit.com/books

Never Stop… Never Quit…®
Kevin Byrne
Portland, OR

Never Stop… Never Quit… Reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off.


Thursday, February 28, 2019

This Day in History: February 28, 2019


Dominic Bandall is a condemned man. A once powerful attorney in New York City, he and his law partner, his wife Sharon, focused towards their never-ending fight for justice.

Now an aged man, his body is battered and bruised from the crippling ailments he has endured in his lifetime-his mind is burdened by the memories of the 9/11 attacks that killed Sharon and so many others he loved.

On February 28, 2019, a young law student named Angela Grant met him at his office in Honu'apo, Hawai'i, to conduct a series of interviews. What transpired over the next 10 days began with his first confession.

Chapter 2 - Voice: Angela (draft – editing in process)
 “I asked you here to talk about moments. Moments are energy. The sight, sound, and smell of every moment exists, even if we don’t experience all of them together in one particular moment. The energy in moments cannot be created nor destroyed. Energy simply moves on to a different combination, thereby creating a different moment. That’s the best explanation I can give you.” He had lost me. I could not understand what he was talking about. On top of that, I had forgotten my notebook and couldn’t even take notes. I hoped I could remember enough about what to be able to write it down later.
“Angela!” he snapped. Once again, my thoughts betrayed me. Perhaps he sensed I struggling to understand what he was talking about. “I tried for a long time to fully understand the scientific theory behind moments of energy. When I was student, I dedicated a lot of effort to figuring it out. When I discovered there was little information, and certainly no definitive facts about it, I switched my focus to this,”—he gestured to the massive library—“the law.” Law is a collection of interpretations and judgments, but are they rooted in historical fact? Most are. Some, however, are misinterpretations, incorrect assumptions of thought and intent, or flat-out falsehoods. For almost fifty years, my focus has been the law, first as a student and then as a practicing attorney. All the books and documents you see here? I use them all to help me practice law. I sense you are puzzled by the odd assortment of books in my library. We will get to that in time. Before we talk about where I am now, I feel it’s my responsibility to share my journey with you.”
Dominic leaned back into his chair. He started to say something, but couldn’t seem to find the right words. He then leaned toward the side of his chair, then slowly swirled himself around. With his chin safely crooked between his index finger and thumb, he appeared to drift off. He was lost in thought so long, I reached over and placed my hand on his arm. “Dominic? Are you okay?” He turned his chair back toward me and gave me a look like he had known me his whole life and was thinking, ‘Where have all the years gone, Angela?’ It was odd.
“I can see moments in time, Angela.”
“What do you mean”?
“I can see the moments that existed before. Combinations of energy form whenever time exists. As I said before, energy is neither created nor destroyed; instead, it is something that is always changing. It is in constant motion. I can recall unique combinations of energy and am able to replay them in my mind. I know what happened in the past.
“We usually know about the past from what others have told us. The problem with this is that we always have to rely on another person’s impression or maybe even fabrication of what happened. I can recall the past without having to rely on someone else’s version. I am able to see the past firsthand.”
I could tell Dominic fully believed what he had just told me. Looking at him and feeling the greatest sense of pity was just a horrifying experience. I had researched his life. I knew about his hardships and his accomplishments. I had read about the tragedy he experienced on 9/11. He lost everything that day: his wife, all his colleagues, his company. While I was on the plane, I had tried to imagine what his life had been like since then—the day his public life ended, and his private sentence began.
“Please don’t look at me like I’m crazy. I assure you I am not.” He was firm and calm.

Moments, a historical fiction saga, is scheduled for release in late March 2019
"…fantastic stories, where I'm limited only by my imagination, not by the confines of this stupid disease."
Kevin Byrne
NMSS Leadership Conference
Denver, CO

November 2016

Friday, December 28, 2018

2018/46


One advantage of being a late-December baby (28th) is the chance to align my life with the calendar. 2018, my 47th trip around the sun, was: 
  - an optimist’s dream 
  - a pessimist’s nightmare
  - an introvert’s haven 
  - an extrovert’s opportunity
For this optimistic/pessimistic outgoing introvert (look it up-it’s a term), the year will never be matched. I lived a thousand chapters in 2018. In all the pages, one theme echoed over and over-Never Stop… Never Quit…

I won’t talk about the suffering my MS brought onto me, or the woes I bore witness to, or even the burdens life brings. No, revisiting is too painful and pointless. My story is about what I gained in 2018 and how I’ll use it to my benefit in ’19 and beyond. When I stopped, when I quit, at the end of last year, I held close to me the only things I could handle: my health, my mind, and My Little Love. The rest, I left to you. 13 months later, this is my report.

Health
In 2018, I physically improved more than any other year in my fight. First of all, let that term sink in: I improved. None of my disabilities have diminished. My body is now better condition to endure, supplement, or compensate for the damage inflicted by my MS. I’m stronger; I’m lighter; I have more endurance to live. I spend 2-4 hours a day, 5-7 days a week, in rehab pushing my body beyond what it can do. I often push too far because I don’t know just what I’m capable of—I never want to do less than I could have. I wish there are words to describe the feeling when my body fails, when the pain and aches are excruciating, simply because I did too much that day. More so, when it was more than I could do the day before, my tears of pain turned to joy and excitement to go even further the next day.

Sure, there were a lot of setbacks, but “two days of pain for three days of gain” is a beautiful motto when the ratio has been flipped for so many years! For the first time in a while, I can see the next level of improvements to work for as I plot my 2019 breakthrough!

Mind
In 2018, I found clarity and comfort with my personal set of challenges and setbacks. Salvation came from hundreds of sources, both traditional and quite unique. My history of depression and anxiety predates my MS. Their collective force is what I like to refer to now as “a worthy adversary!”

Counselors, loving family, and amazing friends helped me navigate my new environment. I’m proud to say that I proved many people right! The focus on what I can, or need to, handle is narrow; no longer pinging all over the place, my life is stronger—my impact is more ‘effective.’

My mind transformed thoughts of what I call “the chaotic, the horrific, and the truly burdensome” into The Ramblings of a Condemned Man. The collection of stories reflects the directions my mind wanders constantly. The book’s novella …in abeyance was released separately as Book #1 in The Condemned Man Series. Book #2, Annie Flynn - First Row, Second Desk, released in December. What a great way to rebuild my mind and my heart!
 

My Little Love
Eleanor, when you read these pages years from now, please know when 2018 began, you were the only person I wanted to see and hold every day. You are the only reason I vowed to continue my fight. That is no longer the case, for I rediscovered the love I have and want to share with so many. I rediscovered the magic of love for family, and friends, and those who find a special place in my heart. For that, I thank you.
I love you,
Daddy

The Rest, Left up to You
The numbers tell one story. Kim Madden and Chris Madden led Team Amulet, as they raised over $53,000 in support of our fight. Michelle Judd and Tom Dickey collected 76 phenomenal bottles of wine from an incredible collection of local wineries and private donors, helping the MS Gala raise a total of over $267,000.

My heart tells the other story. Every bit of outreach you provided helped get me through 2018. Every success we realize and celebrate in 2019 is due to your efforts. Your notes, texts, and calls of support lifted me. Your donated dollars and purchased books motivated me. You supported me every step of the way, never allow me to fully slip into the background, and carried me (figuratively and literally) through my toughest trials. I will never be able to repay your love, but I will never stop paying it forward.

2018 Was Great. Now What?
My narrowed focus, now a bit wider, is poised for success.
My health: I won’t be greedy. I’ll readily accept “two days of pain for three days of gain” all day, every day. I will push, adapt, and overcome. I promise to document my trials and success, a living record of what your support has done!
My mind: I will fully embrace the opportunity you gave me, professing and celebrating the very first minute of the very first hour of the new year. My writing will continue to expand. Moments, a saga, will release as Book #3 in The Condemned Man Series. I’m writing more short stories and began work on my next novel.
My Little Love: every day, we will celebrate life!
My Fight: as a board member of the Oregon Chapter of the National MS Society, I’m asked to give a projection for the monetary impact of my efforts. For both bike MS and MS Gala, I’ve provided a preliminary forecast for 2019 of $100,000. That’s not $100,000 of work I alone must do, for you have already shown the value your love and support carry. I just want to do my part and contribute alongside the greatest army of friends and family I could ever imagine.

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to return to the fight.
Love,
Kevin

Because it is a fight.
The fight is not over and it won’t be over until a cure is found.
It will never stop…nor will we
It will never quit…nor will we
This is why we ride!

100% of the royalties earned from my books go to the National MS Society, to support our fight: http://neverstopneverquit.com/books

Never Stop… Never Quit…®
Kevin Byrne
Portland, OR

Never Stop… Never Quit… Reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off.


Thursday, July 5, 2018

Bear and Persist


“Perfer et obdura! dolor hic tibi proderit olim.” (Ovid, Amores. 3.11a. 7-8)
“Bear and persist! The suffering will be useful to you.”

I never thought of my fight with multiple sclerosis as suffering. Instead, I preferred sexier terms like a struggle, challenge, or simply my fight. Suffering, in my mind, raised connotations of a one-sided contest where I am a never-ending victim of aggression. After 19 years I guess I have to say stereotype is true, for the most part.

My journey has been highlighted with countless hospitalizations, medications, and setbacks; because of my MS, I medically retired from two careers; the physical, mental, and emotional strain continues to take its toll on my family, my friends, and myself. There is no set path for tomorrow — my MS progression often fails to follow any best-laid plan or expected roadmap. Complete lack of control over so many factors, factors which are both painful and debilitating, is pretty much the textbook definition of suffering.

My goal for 2018 has been to make MS useful to me.
·                     No, this isn’t some ass-backward way of trying to glamorize my fight (“It’s amazing how strong he is! I’m so proud of him.”)
·                     I’m not making lemonade out of lemons. I don’t even own a lemon-squeezer thingy.

My life has changed, is changing, and will continue to do so because of my MS. That’s a good thing. Because of my MS, I have taken on challenges far outside the realm of considerations I once held close.

Last month, because of my MS, I introduced readers to, what I call, images of “the chaotic, the horrific, and the burdensome.” Stories from The Ramblings of a Condemned Man are some of the emotions and thoughts I can express only through writing. My MS has been the catalyst for publishing them through NEVER STOP NEVER QUIT — 100% of the profits received will go directly towards our fight. Personally, I find it therapeutic to introduce the world to Chris Baxter, Spencer Tucker, Zodi Dayak, Jimmy the Kid, Sarah Pak, Colleen Fellow, Samantha Eppling, and so many other named and unnamed characters. They are friends and adversaries I’ve selfishly held close to me for some time; it’s been a while.

By the end of this year, I will share an even greater undertaking. Dominic and Sharon Bandall, Angela Grant, and Lizzy Strauss are but a few of the characters in the saga Moments. Because of my MS, they were first created — it is because of my MS that I will share them with my readers.

Because of my MS, I will spend the time between these releases fundraising as part of Team Amulet. Before the day I was told, “You have MS,” I don’t believe I ever heard the term before. If I had, it made no impact on me whatsoever.

Because of my MS, I reached out to the National MS Society for their guidance and support in those dark early days. When I was finally strong enough, I joined my new family and road my first bike MS.

Because of my MS, my brother Tommy and I formed Team Amulet in 2003. Since that time, I have ridden with more than 70 Amulet-eers, in five states, raising over $550,000. I wonder what the next 15 years will bring…

Because of my MS, I have had the opportunity to meet so many new connections. In spite of my MS, those connections grew to become cherished friends, loved ones, and supporters in (and separate from) our collective fight. It is a fight we will someday win. If my efforts contribute to that celebrated victory, I will be happy to say, “We found a cure because of my MS!”

Until that day comes, I will bear and persist while I bask in the benefits of my suffering.
Please donate today: http://main.nationalmssociety.org/goto/embk

The fight is not over and it won’t be over until a cure is found.
It will never stop…nor will we
It will never quit…nor will we
This is why we fight!

Never Stop… Never Quit…®
Kevin Byrne
Portland, OR

Never Stop… Never Quit… Reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off.


Thursday, June 7, 2018

Chaos: a selection from The Ramblings of a Condemned Man

Available now at Amazon.com (Print, Kindle)
I wrote this piece as a preface to try to explain my logic behind the ramblings I have included in this book. Chaos is not a perfect word choice, but it is the best explanation I can supply when I address the inevitable question, “What were you thinking?”
My life is and always has been rife with chaos. Some of the turmoil has been inflicted on me; I am merely a victim. Other times, I’ve been guilty of instigating disarray. There were joint efforts as well, both inflicted and self-instigated. And, of course, chaos is often a simple fact of nature. As to the correct proportions of responsibility, I don’t know, although prudence would split most of the blame between nature and me.
I don’t believe my body experiences a greater share of discord as compared to others. My mind, however, finds it challenging to see beyond chaos, many times to the detriment of the peace and beauty around me. Looking back on my life, the images that most readily come to mind are indeed the chaotic, the horrific, and the burdensome. Many great recollections are there, they just play second fiddle to my demons.
In and of itself, confronting chaos isn’t bad. You can realize a tremendous amount of satisfaction by solving impossible challenges, overcoming overwhelming odds, or righting the wrongs around you; it is the calling of every superhero. But, when or where does it end? At what point will our hero look beyond today’s villain, stop reminiscing over yesterday’s evil, and forgo anticipation of tomorrow’s plight?
It must be nice, taking off the cape to enjoy the day’s treasures. Unfortunately, this freedom is not afforded to condemned men; my sentence is the recurring vision of chaos. The reality of my multiple sclerosis (MS) further antagonizes the turmoil that is already deep inside me. I watch the incessant thrashing my body has undertaken since 1999, when I was first diagnosed. “What’s next?” rattles through my mind with its own dedicated line to every emotion and fear I possess. I am indeed a condemned man, but not for the reasons you might assume. The chaos of my MS falls mostly into the last category: it’s a simple fact of nature. I’m not a victim of my disease; it’s just another obstacle in life. One powerful difference with the chaos of MS is the answer to my question, “When does it end?”
It doesn’t.
Writing has become my way of loosening the shackles that barrages of chaos, both MS-related and simple facts-of-life, inflict on my mind and body every day. I first started writing stories meant only for my daughter, for her to read when she ultimately receives my journals, when they become hers. In these journals (okay, fine…it’s a diary), I share my thoughts, hopes, and dreams about life so that someday Ellie will have a vivid picture of the man her daddy was.
In late 2010, writing became my response to the increasing levels of chaos caused by my MS. The blogs I write are my attempt to express the hope that someday there will be an answer to “When does it end?” One piece in this book is appropriately titled The Completely Inconsequential Ramblings of a Condemned Man. It is adapted from a series of blog posts I wrote in 2017, documenting the damage MS has done and will continue to inflict on me. By confronting the chaos, bearing everything to my readers through the blog, I have been able to raise funds and awareness in our fight against the devastating effects of multiple sclerosis.
More importantly, the more I wrote about the chaos of my MS and shared it with others, the more my own fears lessened. The main subject of the blog series—this Kevin Byrne— now carries the weight, not the author.
If writing helped me cope with my MS, why not try writing about other aspects of my life?
In 2014, I wrote the novella …in abeyance. The main character, Chris Baxter, is the personification of chaos I have carried for far too long. Chris is who I am, was, wanted to be, feared, struggled to overcome, and so much more, wrapped up and scripted into an entirely fictional persona who lives in a fictional world (with a heavy smattering of historical context in this alternate reality). Placing turmoil on the shoulders of this character relaxed the burden on my own.
My revelation was earth-shattering! I wrote stories overflowing with the anxiety of my own unrest. Sometimes an entire saga addressed just one particular struggle I faced. My favorites are those based on the utter confusion in my head that I just can’t quite accurately describe; the alternate fantasy world became a surrogate for the chaos I was unable to express otherwise.
Regardless of why I wrote these stories, sharing my chaos this way has helped me sleep a bit better. Maybe it discounts my fears. Maybe it validates them. However, it is my hope that the therapeutic value I get from writing pales in comparison to the enjoyment you will get from reading my tales. Time will tell.
After my most recent struggles with MS and personal chaos, a harsh campaign lasting nearly two years, I gathered some of my favorite stories and sent them to my editor. They are some of the words I wrote or revisited to help battle my own chaos. In addition to Chaos…in abeyance, and The Completely Inconsequential Ramblings of a Condemned Man, I have included four short stories. My writings are indeed ramblings because I sometimes feel as if I have little control over what happens in the story.
I am merely a conduit.
Kevin
May 2018

About the Book: The Ramblings of a Condemned Man

Kevin Byrne shares unique insight into the world of a man condemned by both his body and mind. In these stories, on loan from his personal collection, chaos becomes a burden that is no longer his—weighted instead onto the characters he has created.

Included in this book:
…in abeyance (a novella)
Christopher Baxter is a man recognized for his accomplishments: West Point graduate, medical doctor, combat veteran. Chris is also a man who struggles with the familiarity of circumstances he has carried his entire life.
Nothing else changes; no mystical stories or tales of fantasy. What would you do if humanity stopped dying? As the world struggles to come to grips with dormancy, is one man–Chris Baxter–just another unwilling participant, the curse, or their salvation?
Five short stories
  Chaos: a reflection, confession
  Essence: a perspective on the divine
  I’ll Never Breathe Again: a contemplation of past fears
  Jimmy the Kid: a dark tale of rage (nature)
  His Story, His Way: a dark tale of rage (nurture)
The Completely Inconsequential Ramblings of a Condemned Man
Inspired by a blog series first published in 2017, the never-ending struggle with multiple sclerosis is described through the symptoms they inflict on Kevin and his family, friends, and supporters in this ultimate fight.
Published by the NEVER STOP NEVER QUIT charitable foundation, 100% of the revenue earned from each sale will go directly to the fight against multiple sclerosis.

About the Author
Kevin was born and raised in New York City. A 1993 graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point, he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) in 1999, while serving overseas in command of a US Army Air Cavalry Troop. He is now medically retired and lives in Portland, Oregon with his daughter, Eleanor.
Kevin devotes much of his time and energy towards overcoming the challenges of his own MS, so he can fight for others. He began writing and blogging in 2010, for the Department of Veterans Affairs, the National MS Society, and then NEVER STOP NEVER QUIT, a charitable foundation he co-formed to further expand his fundraising and advocacy in the fight against MS.
“…fantastic stories, where I’m limited only by my imagination, not by the confines of this stupid disease.
NMSS Leadership Conference
Denver, CO
November 2016


Never Stop… Never Quit…®
For more information, please go to: neverstopneverquit.com
To donate to our efforts through Bike MS, please go to: main.nationalmssociety.org/goto/embk